I just had to move to a city that seems to be the vegan capital of the entire freakin’ world. Those of you that live here will know what city I am talking about. Those that don’t, count yourself lucky. Anyways, these people seem to make up about a third of the immediate population. Most of them are innocuous, just regular people like you or me. Much like shape-shifters from an alien world come to infiltrate the Earth, the lay in wait until their day will come. Others, however, are not so invisible.
The ones that really piss me off are the vegans that will get in your face and make it a point to tell you how much of a horrible person you are for your choice of meals. They look down their noses at non-vegans like we are some sort of parasite and live at the top of their soap boxes preaching the good word. Vegetarians have a better case, since killing animals is, indeed, still killing. They can complain about the butchery all they want, but I’m still eating my hamburger. Vegans, however, bitch and moan about cheese, eggs and a wide variety of other things that are staples of the human diet.
I firmly believe that they’re entitled to their opinion, but when I’m made to feel like a pile of crap because they need to change the world to match their paradigm, it pushes me over the edge. Often they will refuse to associate with anyone who isn’t vegan. I’ve even been turned down on rental applications because I wasn’t a vegan. This is some serious discrimination. This makes it even more ironic, since some of these vegans are very active in certain political arenas, such as LGBT or women’s rights. The rest just like to pretend they are and use their “noble and just intentions” to prove to you how much better they are than us dirty meat-eating murderers.
The next time a vegan flashes me a dirty look because I happen to be walking down the street munching on a slice of pepperoni pizza, I swear I’m rubbing the thing in their face. Sure, I may end up in jail for assault, but it might just be worth it. More likely I’ll just hide in my room and eat my hamburger in peace.