The Fop

The Fop

Go Ahead, Tempt The Visigoths

They have existed in one form or another since ancient times. The Roman Empire had them. The British Empire had them. And now we have them. Fops.

Of course, we've been trying to develop a fop class of our own for a long time. Consider the lyrics to “Yankee Doodle Dandy”:


Yankee doodle came to town

Riding on a pony

Stuck a feather in his cap

And called it macaroni.


This isn't just a nonsense verse. “Yankee doodle dandy” means “an American bumpkin (specifically a New Englander) who has pretensions to being a dandy.”


“Pony,” in this context, refers to a prostitute. “Macaroni,” like “dandy,” was another word for a fop. So the song was written originally to mock colonial farmers who would come into town to visit the brothels and try to act like English fops.


Now, however, we really do have fops of our own. And they are everywhere. Men who put tremendous amounts of attention into their hair, their clothing and their overall appearance, striving for that perfect metrosexual look. I'm not talking about gay men- concern for such things is traditionally an acceptable quality in gay culture. It is not, traditionally, an acceptable quality for a straight male.


Foppishness among the straight men of any culture is a sign of decadence, a sign of declining empire, an open invitation to pillaging Huns and Visigoths: “Come on guys, cross the border! We're all too busy getting our hair done! We're easy pickings!”