The tall people concert dilemma

The tall people concert dilemma

They should make tall people stand in a special section in the back so that everyone else can see.

I had the pleasure of doing something that I don’t usually partake in the other night - going to see a concert.  As with most of the bands I like (which are somewhat less-known) the performance was a primarily standing-room only arrangement.  Thus, the audience was forced to remain erect for about six hours.  In addition to creating some rather sore feat, the standing audience paradigm creates another serious problem - that of tall people killing the view for the rest of us.

OK, sure, you’re tall and you can’t help it and you really want to get closer to the stage and see better.  But please realize that your giant-sized body is destroying the experience for other people.  And don’t make it worse by standing in the very front and being a prick.

Some of these tall folks may be ignorant of what they’re doing, so I can forgive a little.  Inevitably, however, due to the fact that I attend some more “performancy” (yeah, I made that word up) bands, people like to dress in costume.  This inevitably results in a few who decide top hats fit the occasion.  And some of these bastards leave those damn things on for the entire concert.  Add to that the tendency of top hat wearers to already be six foot and over and you’ve got a pillar in front of you while you stand on your sore feet for hours.

Thus I propose that concert floors be divided into height sections.  Screw sitting with your friends, if your head is high enough off the ground to block air traffic, you should be penned up in a specific area of the venue.  Move all the shorties to the front so they can actually see the performance.  Me, I’m average height so I’d be happy somewhere in the middle.

Unfortunately, it will never happen.  People world-wide will continue to struggle against their over-sized counterparts and those closer to the ground will always be on the losing end of the game.  Maybe if they offered boosters to stand on that would work?  There’s the solution!  Give everyone a booster appropriate to make them six-feet and then people can stand wherever they want.  Oh, only in a perfect world…